"Lalaki ako... walang mawawala sa akin anu man ang gawin ko."
It was confirmed. My aunt's husband has a mistress in France. He's working there as a TNT, and since he's far away from home, he did what most men do: seek some company among other women.
Officially, we're a family of kaliwetes and kinaliwete. Dad's a very good example of being a kaliwete. He even introduce his 26 - year old mistress whenever he goes, in fact, his ex-mistress was the reason of his empire's downfall several years ago.
My grandfather - both from the mother and father's side is also a kaliwete, even my mom's brother is also a kaliwete. There's too much immorality and suffering in our family that no wonder, our generation will produce several gays and lesbians, probably as a karma or sign of protest.
Somehow, seeing my aunt cry broke my heart. But on the other hand, tolerating his brother's (dad's) mistresses hit back at her. It's a karmic cycle and I'm sure that it would still reach us sooner or later.
Oh wait, I'm also a victim of kaliwaan. I suffered from it, and it hurts whenever I would remember that day and regret. Sana, dinamihan ko pa ang naka-ONS ko habang nasa relasyon kami para naman quits ang laban.
Minsan iniisip ko, may sense ba na maging monogamous ako sa relasyon ko kay phanks? Minsan, nagdududa ako sa bud ko kung meron siyang kalandiang iba, pero hinahayaan ko na lang na bumaon sa isipan ko ang takot. Nung isang gabi, habang nagclu-clubbing ako sa Bed, merong isang guy na pumwesto sa likod ko. Nung una kala ko, accidental lang yung mga pagbangga niya sakin, pero nung tinataas na niya yung polo ko, sabay pinapasok yung kamay niya sa likod ko, bigla akong napaatras.
That guy is whammy. If I gave a positive response, probably I would end up in bed with him. There were a lot of times I avoided temptation all in the name of monogamy, but with what's happening around me and with the constant fear of being cheated, the truth is, I don't know where to strike a balance anymore.
Phanks always pulls me down whenever he complains about how I look or how I manage my hygiene. Minsan, gusto ko na lang talagang mapikon at bigyan siya ng leksyon sa kakadown niya sakin. I know, he's quite goodlooking compared to me, but he doesn't know that I keep some cards with me. Ako pa, may capacity pa akong magflirt around... and get a mate when needed. My experience in handling a relationship would always be my advantage. If I decide to free my demons and let myself reclaim my promiscuous heritage, maiiwan siyang mag-isa.
But still, I don't want to traumatize someone. I just hope that he would not get me first.
Mahirap kalabanin ang temptation. Kapag down ang feeling mo sa sarili mo, mas lalo kang maghahanap ng paraan para i-prove sa sarili mo na hindi ka pa dapa at kaya mo pang ipaglaban ang masculinity mo.
Pero kapag dumating ang time na nareremind ka ng nangyari at nangyayaring kaliwaan sa pamilya mo, ng takot mo na baka ikaw ang ma-tabla ng buddy mo, na kinu-question mo na ang moral standards mo...
nakakatakot.
baka next time, bumigay na ako sa tawag ng laman ko.
It was confirmed. My aunt's husband has a mistress in France. He's working there as a TNT, and since he's far away from home, he did what most men do: seek some company among other women.
Officially, we're a family of kaliwetes and kinaliwete. Dad's a very good example of being a kaliwete. He even introduce his 26 - year old mistress whenever he goes, in fact, his ex-mistress was the reason of his empire's downfall several years ago.
My grandfather - both from the mother and father's side is also a kaliwete, even my mom's brother is also a kaliwete. There's too much immorality and suffering in our family that no wonder, our generation will produce several gays and lesbians, probably as a karma or sign of protest.
Somehow, seeing my aunt cry broke my heart. But on the other hand, tolerating his brother's (dad's) mistresses hit back at her. It's a karmic cycle and I'm sure that it would still reach us sooner or later.
Oh wait, I'm also a victim of kaliwaan. I suffered from it, and it hurts whenever I would remember that day and regret. Sana, dinamihan ko pa ang naka-ONS ko habang nasa relasyon kami para naman quits ang laban.
Minsan iniisip ko, may sense ba na maging monogamous ako sa relasyon ko kay phanks? Minsan, nagdududa ako sa bud ko kung meron siyang kalandiang iba, pero hinahayaan ko na lang na bumaon sa isipan ko ang takot. Nung isang gabi, habang nagclu-clubbing ako sa Bed, merong isang guy na pumwesto sa likod ko. Nung una kala ko, accidental lang yung mga pagbangga niya sakin, pero nung tinataas na niya yung polo ko, sabay pinapasok yung kamay niya sa likod ko, bigla akong napaatras.
That guy is whammy. If I gave a positive response, probably I would end up in bed with him. There were a lot of times I avoided temptation all in the name of monogamy, but with what's happening around me and with the constant fear of being cheated, the truth is, I don't know where to strike a balance anymore.
Phanks always pulls me down whenever he complains about how I look or how I manage my hygiene. Minsan, gusto ko na lang talagang mapikon at bigyan siya ng leksyon sa kakadown niya sakin. I know, he's quite goodlooking compared to me, but he doesn't know that I keep some cards with me. Ako pa, may capacity pa akong magflirt around... and get a mate when needed. My experience in handling a relationship would always be my advantage. If I decide to free my demons and let myself reclaim my promiscuous heritage, maiiwan siyang mag-isa.
But still, I don't want to traumatize someone. I just hope that he would not get me first.
Mahirap kalabanin ang temptation. Kapag down ang feeling mo sa sarili mo, mas lalo kang maghahanap ng paraan para i-prove sa sarili mo na hindi ka pa dapa at kaya mo pang ipaglaban ang masculinity mo.
Pero kapag dumating ang time na nareremind ka ng nangyari at nangyayaring kaliwaan sa pamilya mo, ng takot mo na baka ikaw ang ma-tabla ng buddy mo, na kinu-question mo na ang moral standards mo...
nakakatakot.
baka next time, bumigay na ako sa tawag ng laman ko.
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