I wish he just leave us alone... forever.
why do I see him as the harbinger of problems, the ultimate source of our upsets and depressions, the perfect monument to a broken family that is trying to heal itself?
I want my dad out of our lives. He should live with his mistress and their kids. We don't care anymore. In fact, we're already striving to live on our own and his business with us has ceased to exist already.
My business with him has already been closed a long time ago. At the very least, all I can offer him is my civility.
---
I arrive this evening finding a demand letter for my dad.
The maid said that he sent that letter for my mom to see and resolve. After all, he claims that mom was the reason why he hired the finance manager I've been mentioning before. (BTW, she left the company several weeks ago never saying goodbye.)
Actually, it was quite a small amount thought. In fact, I could pay it in one years time provided that I still earn my double-salary. But why do we have to bear his problems? The fact the he abandoned us should be a good reason for us to leave him to his business.
Tama na na inako ko lahat ng iniwan niyang responsibilidad samin. Layuan na lang niya kami.
---
Working my ass more than ten hours a day is enough payment for his irresponsibilities. I should have be enjoying a night out with the ODDERs tomorrow night, I should be spending a moment's time with my bud tomorrow evening... but just to earn additional 500 bucks, just to assure myself that I will have extra money in my bank account
I will have to work overnight. Forget my body and my weary spirit.
What matters is that my mom would not worry another month trying to budget our expenses.
My salary would suffice to make both ends meet.
I just wish that soon, I can make that with one salary alone.
---
Akala ko nagheal na ang mga sugat na iniwan niya mula nung inabandona niya kami...
Pero habang nakikita ko na ginugulo pa rin niya ang nanay ko, parang bumubuka muli ang mga peklat na naghihilom pa lang.
Kung hindi lang siya nagloko, dapat sana ang buhay ko ngayon eh parang buhay ni Phillip (phb.blogspot). Dapat sana, ang mga problemang dala dala ko eh tipong problemang hinaharap lang ni James.
Pero masakit isipin na parang ang bilis ninakaw sakin ang kabataan ko. Imagine, less than 8 months lang, kelangan kong lunukin lahat ng mga possibilities na pwedeng mangyari samin.
Tingin ko nga eh parang mas magaan pa yung problemang dala dala nung isa kong officemate na sampung taon halos ang tanda sa akin.
Siya, simpleng soloflight lang ang buhay niya, sakin isang bahay ang dala-dala ko.
---
Kaya ako, hindi na ako ganun katakot na malaman nilang PLU ako.
Marami na akong na-prove na mga bagay na mismong mga straight eh hindi nila kayang gawin.
Tangina, hindi nga ako nakabuntis, pero padre de pamilya naman ako. Wala nga akong girlfriend pero boyfriend pa rin ako sa buddy ko.
Minsan gusto kong tanungin ang buhay, kelan ba ako makakaranas ng security. Magagawa ko pa kayang mag-isip katulad ng dati, na sarili ko lang ang dapat kong problemahin. Masakit nito, alam kong kahit na magkaroon ako ng opportunity katulad ng dati, iba na ang lahat. Hindi na babalik ang dati.
Pasensya na kung dito ako sa blog naglalabas ng sama ng loob. Di na ako ganun ka-senti katulad dati sa harap ng mga tao. Mas makulit na ako madalas kapag may problema. Dinadaan ko na lang sa yosi at pang-aasar kapag asar ako sa buhay.
Marami ang hindi nakakaalam pero kapag ako na lang mag-isa, saka ko lang naiisip.
Ang hirap pala maging masaya.
why do I see him as the harbinger of problems, the ultimate source of our upsets and depressions, the perfect monument to a broken family that is trying to heal itself?
I want my dad out of our lives. He should live with his mistress and their kids. We don't care anymore. In fact, we're already striving to live on our own and his business with us has ceased to exist already.
My business with him has already been closed a long time ago. At the very least, all I can offer him is my civility.
---
I arrive this evening finding a demand letter for my dad.
The maid said that he sent that letter for my mom to see and resolve. After all, he claims that mom was the reason why he hired the finance manager I've been mentioning before. (BTW, she left the company several weeks ago never saying goodbye.)
Actually, it was quite a small amount thought. In fact, I could pay it in one years time provided that I still earn my double-salary. But why do we have to bear his problems? The fact the he abandoned us should be a good reason for us to leave him to his business.
Tama na na inako ko lahat ng iniwan niyang responsibilidad samin. Layuan na lang niya kami.
---
Working my ass more than ten hours a day is enough payment for his irresponsibilities. I should have be enjoying a night out with the ODDERs tomorrow night, I should be spending a moment's time with my bud tomorrow evening... but just to earn additional 500 bucks, just to assure myself that I will have extra money in my bank account
I will have to work overnight. Forget my body and my weary spirit.
What matters is that my mom would not worry another month trying to budget our expenses.
My salary would suffice to make both ends meet.
I just wish that soon, I can make that with one salary alone.
---
Akala ko nagheal na ang mga sugat na iniwan niya mula nung inabandona niya kami...
Pero habang nakikita ko na ginugulo pa rin niya ang nanay ko, parang bumubuka muli ang mga peklat na naghihilom pa lang.
Kung hindi lang siya nagloko, dapat sana ang buhay ko ngayon eh parang buhay ni Phillip (phb.blogspot). Dapat sana, ang mga problemang dala dala ko eh tipong problemang hinaharap lang ni James.
Pero masakit isipin na parang ang bilis ninakaw sakin ang kabataan ko. Imagine, less than 8 months lang, kelangan kong lunukin lahat ng mga possibilities na pwedeng mangyari samin.
Tingin ko nga eh parang mas magaan pa yung problemang dala dala nung isa kong officemate na sampung taon halos ang tanda sa akin.
Siya, simpleng soloflight lang ang buhay niya, sakin isang bahay ang dala-dala ko.
---
Kaya ako, hindi na ako ganun katakot na malaman nilang PLU ako.
Marami na akong na-prove na mga bagay na mismong mga straight eh hindi nila kayang gawin.
Tangina, hindi nga ako nakabuntis, pero padre de pamilya naman ako. Wala nga akong girlfriend pero boyfriend pa rin ako sa buddy ko.
Minsan gusto kong tanungin ang buhay, kelan ba ako makakaranas ng security. Magagawa ko pa kayang mag-isip katulad ng dati, na sarili ko lang ang dapat kong problemahin. Masakit nito, alam kong kahit na magkaroon ako ng opportunity katulad ng dati, iba na ang lahat. Hindi na babalik ang dati.
Pasensya na kung dito ako sa blog naglalabas ng sama ng loob. Di na ako ganun ka-senti katulad dati sa harap ng mga tao. Mas makulit na ako madalas kapag may problema. Dinadaan ko na lang sa yosi at pang-aasar kapag asar ako sa buhay.
Marami ang hindi nakakaalam pero kapag ako na lang mag-isa, saka ko lang naiisip.
Ang hirap pala maging masaya.
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