Something very big came up yesterday. And for the first time ever since I started using all my financial resources to fill up my bank accounts,
At last I have achieved my first objective.
The objective is not really important, but it was a milestone for me. Its impact was so breathtaking that I was moved to do several things that would prove advantageous to my future
- apply for an accident insurance from BDO. And today, replace my aging Metrobank ATM Card as well as apply for their credit card.
I'm sure that in the next few months, I'd probably be using more cards instead of cash most of the time when I'm out of the house.
--
I spent the night partying with my colleagues.
It was the first time I did it ever since working in a company that we don't control. Sabagay, I can't bond too much with my staff back at my dad's companies and when I worked at SENCOR, my colleagues were rather conservative, unlike the ones I am working with today.
Too bad though, things are beginning to shift again in a new direction...
When time comes, I will put it too in my blog.
The party was awesome. We went to Padi's Point Cubao and drowned ourselves in kegs of beer the whole night.
And last night was also a rare moment when I get to dance with straight people - while the music being played is strictly HipHop and RnB.
Galing nga eh, I never thought I'd be more... groovy when it comes to that kind of music considering the fact that I really don't listen to such genre. Pero astig! I get to act generally heterosexual, and I even got to dance with this girl I met at the dance floor.
And it was not just a simple, boring, teenie-weenie kind of dancing. If I was more agressive last night, I could have even performed a close-body contact-dirty kind of dance with her. But I am not generally aware how straight guys dance with girls, mahirap na masampal o sabihan ng manyak ng taong kasayaw mo.
Iba kasi sa BED eh. Guys tend to aggressively dance with other guys. If we're talking of dirty dancing there, meron nang hawakan portion, frotthing portion and even laplapan portion kapag nagkagustuhan pa. I'm not really sure... or should I say, I've never seen that kind of dancing with straight people.
So hayun, I was drunk and maintaining my control, while the girl kept on dancing in front of me. She was even the one who was trying to get close, pero ako naman simpleng smile smile lang, while discreetly letting parts of my body touch hers. Ganun lang, till we both get tired from dancing.
I'm sure, that if I get a little slimmer, I could reclaim my endurance and mobility back in the dancefloor.
---
We left the place at around 2 AM.
I should have reported for work today, but since I was severely drunk this morning, I failed to get up and dress for work at 5 am.
And perhaps there was a reason for it... why it has to happen.
Because when I woke up at 10 am, I found out that some of the staffs from our remaining company were having a meeting with my mom downstairs.
Ayaw ko naman magpakita, but I listened to what they are talking about from the stairs.
They were discussing about the state of the company and its seemingly tilting situation. They were increasingly getting worried about our financial shortcomings, and how our remaining partner abuses her position in the company.
And it got me worried, if not upset again as I listened to them.
You see, loosing the income we get from that company is what I really really feared most. Although we don't live an opulent lifestyle, the fact that we would get short of income to the point that I need to constantly drain my savings would be a nightmare to me.
And sometimes, despite my hopes and prayers that hopefully it won't happen, I am already preparing for such situation, if ever it would come.
Everybody at home knows that if ever that company closes, we would be doomed. Even if I have work today, my salary won't match the income we get from that company.
And perhaps the fear of loosing that one last company my dad left us drives me to seek jobs that would give me higher compensation.
Even at the cost of abandoning the one, that treated me fairly enough when I needed work.
Perhaps that fear also forces me to drive myself into such levels of stingyness that someone even told me before that "masahol pa daw ako sa kuripot."
Those fears, if it adds up to the pressures of being an elder, a breadwinner, and the de-factor father at home gets too difficult sometimes to handle.
Good thing, I have work and a homo life that distracts my attention to those realities.
--
There were times, I wanted to think about tomorrow as something that is better than what we experience today.
For thinking about the past, the times when we're much more secured with our lives reminds me of the pains and regrets we have to bear today.
I tried running away from all those pains these past few months and actually, for a time I did succeed. But as days go by, it seems like in truth, I have no other choice but to battle my way for tomorrow.
Things are gonna happen, when it has to happen...
... hopefully, I have enough ammo to face those demons that still haunt me.
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