I should have kept this under the sheets, or even never bothered to focus my feelings over this, but when Roy shared his sentiments with me this evening about our roots, I just can't help but vent it out in my blog. Sometimes, there are sadness that you can't simply hide. Probably perhaps, after denying the changes for a very long time, now... it all crumbles in front of me.
That just feel that we are now orphans;
That our cradle that kept and cared for us for so long is gradually ceasing to exist.
---
The truth is, I was really disappointed that such initiatives like I did yesterday in hopes of fulfilling the aspirations of everyone would actually produce very minimal results. Tanda ko pa, someone asked if it could be held on a Friday... Since it seems like everyone would be available, then it pushed through.
Ang pinaka nakakainis pa dun, the one who requested it to be set on a Friday was not there... he had set his own gimmick a night before, with some of our friends who were also asking for a contingent this week.
Tanggap ko naman na these days, it's hard to call a meet up. First, it's because we couldn't come up with reasons on why we should hold a contingent. Second, it's true that everyone's priorities have dramatically been changed. But a movie gimmick is a good reason to see each other, especially if the movie we would be watching would appeal to almost everyone.
Nakakapanghinayang lang...
A year ago, when someone called for a meet-up like we had last night, almost everyone would try their best to attend. Before, when someone failed to come to a contingent, it's like you loose half of your social life for the entire week.
But now...
---
Ngunit ngayon,
Kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
Sana'y huwag kalimutan
Ang ating mga pinagsamahan.
At kung sakaling gipitin ay
Laging iisipin na
Minsan tayo ay naging tunay na
Magkaibigan.
---
Ever since I got the chance to free myself every weekends, I made it a point that if someone calls for a gimmick, it would remain as my social obligation. After all, it was my desire to see our tropa enduring an entire lifetime.
It was also a promise that when Meng-meng returns, we would still be intact.
But ever since he left, we have become leaderless. There is no one among us who has the charisma at the mass appeal to unite 25 guys all at the same night.
Ahh... those were the days of the great contingents. That is why no matter how some of us claimed that Quattro had changed, I still consider it as my home - a place to return to when reminscing our beginnings, our growth, our bondings over a mug of San Mig Light.
As I try to remember everything that we have shared together for the last three years - the rain-drenched get togethers, the out-of-town contingents, the self destruction nights, the overflowing beers and alcohols, the birthday parties, the exchange gifts during christmas, the once-in-a-lifetime moments of rushing in the emergency room of a hospital just to check out a brother who had been rushed there.
When you look back at everything, one might still feel a lingering pride when those things would flash back on one's memory.
Yet things are different now. I guess that all we have are those cherished memories and recorded journals of the things we have done in the past.
---
Right now, I am having doubts if it's proper to air this sentiments, or should this be appropriate to post on my secret blog. But whenever Roy's text message echoes in my heart; whenever the urge to go to BED alone thrills me every Saturday night; whenever I meet new people in the web - adopting their new ways and view in life; and then I would be reminded of the things I hold dearly, like very old friendships, like humble beginnings...
Parang kelangan ko ata talagang ilabas ito at mabasa para sakali mang dumating ang panahon na tapos na ang lahat, wala akong itinago. Ipinahayag ko ang aking concern at ibinahagi ko ang aking kalungkutan. Ayokong magising na lang ako isang gabi na iba na pala ang mga kasama ko, at ang mas nakakalungkot dun ay mas nag-eenjoy na akong kasama sila...
...habang unti unting natutuyo sa puso ko ang dalawang taong mga masasarap na alaala at pinagsamahan sa mundo ng...
Perhaps there's a truth in the words that "all good things must come to an end." Maybe this is the end, as the signs are already appearing everywhere. Maybe, I'm already loosing my faith that time would come when we would see each other - all of us who have been a member of this group, again drowning ourselves with beer in one place.
Maybe, I am in between of feeling lonely, yet at the same time, also welcoming the prospects of hanging out by ourselves... Like I used to do; like Roy and I did through the course of our friendship.
I just hope that no matter what happens, even though painful changes are really inevitable. Yeah, we would still find a moment in our lives where we would laugh, smile, and remember who we once was.
That just feel that we are now orphans;
That our cradle that kept and cared for us for so long is gradually ceasing to exist.
---
The truth is, I was really disappointed that such initiatives like I did yesterday in hopes of fulfilling the aspirations of everyone would actually produce very minimal results. Tanda ko pa, someone asked if it could be held on a Friday... Since it seems like everyone would be available, then it pushed through.
Ang pinaka nakakainis pa dun, the one who requested it to be set on a Friday was not there... he had set his own gimmick a night before, with some of our friends who were also asking for a contingent this week.
Tanggap ko naman na these days, it's hard to call a meet up. First, it's because we couldn't come up with reasons on why we should hold a contingent. Second, it's true that everyone's priorities have dramatically been changed. But a movie gimmick is a good reason to see each other, especially if the movie we would be watching would appeal to almost everyone.
Nakakapanghinayang lang...
A year ago, when someone called for a meet-up like we had last night, almost everyone would try their best to attend. Before, when someone failed to come to a contingent, it's like you loose half of your social life for the entire week.
But now...
---
Ngunit ngayon,
Kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
Sana'y huwag kalimutan
Ang ating mga pinagsamahan.
At kung sakaling gipitin ay
Laging iisipin na
Minsan tayo ay naging tunay na
Magkaibigan.
---
Ever since I got the chance to free myself every weekends, I made it a point that if someone calls for a gimmick, it would remain as my social obligation. After all, it was my desire to see our tropa enduring an entire lifetime.
It was also a promise that when Meng-meng returns, we would still be intact.
But ever since he left, we have become leaderless. There is no one among us who has the charisma at the mass appeal to unite 25 guys all at the same night.
Ahh... those were the days of the great contingents. That is why no matter how some of us claimed that Quattro had changed, I still consider it as my home - a place to return to when reminscing our beginnings, our growth, our bondings over a mug of San Mig Light.
As I try to remember everything that we have shared together for the last three years - the rain-drenched get togethers, the out-of-town contingents, the self destruction nights, the overflowing beers and alcohols, the birthday parties, the exchange gifts during christmas, the once-in-a-lifetime moments of rushing in the emergency room of a hospital just to check out a brother who had been rushed there.
When you look back at everything, one might still feel a lingering pride when those things would flash back on one's memory.
Yet things are different now. I guess that all we have are those cherished memories and recorded journals of the things we have done in the past.
---
Right now, I am having doubts if it's proper to air this sentiments, or should this be appropriate to post on my secret blog. But whenever Roy's text message echoes in my heart; whenever the urge to go to BED alone thrills me every Saturday night; whenever I meet new people in the web - adopting their new ways and view in life; and then I would be reminded of the things I hold dearly, like very old friendships, like humble beginnings...
Parang kelangan ko ata talagang ilabas ito at mabasa para sakali mang dumating ang panahon na tapos na ang lahat, wala akong itinago. Ipinahayag ko ang aking concern at ibinahagi ko ang aking kalungkutan. Ayokong magising na lang ako isang gabi na iba na pala ang mga kasama ko, at ang mas nakakalungkot dun ay mas nag-eenjoy na akong kasama sila...
...habang unti unting natutuyo sa puso ko ang dalawang taong mga masasarap na alaala at pinagsamahan sa mundo ng...
Perhaps there's a truth in the words that "all good things must come to an end." Maybe this is the end, as the signs are already appearing everywhere. Maybe, I'm already loosing my faith that time would come when we would see each other - all of us who have been a member of this group, again drowning ourselves with beer in one place.
Maybe, I am in between of feeling lonely, yet at the same time, also welcoming the prospects of hanging out by ourselves... Like I used to do; like Roy and I did through the course of our friendship.
I just hope that no matter what happens, even though painful changes are really inevitable. Yeah, we would still find a moment in our lives where we would laugh, smile, and remember who we once was.
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