Still

I always knew that I have a very weak respiratory system.



It's been almost a week already after I caught this virus. I dunno what the medicines have done to improve my condition, but I feel that it made my coughing worse. Still, I suffer from a slight fever every now and then, but definitely the throat pain is gone. Only the remnants of sticky phlegm remains.



Sorry guys for keeping you worried. Let's just say that when I posted that entry, I was at work and then suddenly I felt my head heaving from pain. I called my mom to inform her of my condition and she just said "Diyos Ko Anak."



Those words completely terrified me. I thought I was a goner - that I just have 48 hours to live, like what I see on TV on the news reports about people who caught that Meningo virus.

However, I found out that I just needed to force myself to eat breakfast and viola! the head feeling was gone!



Good thing, my suspension order was also been served yesterday because I committed three lates in just one month. My very kind supervisor suggested that it should fall today so that I can

take a rest and start my day fresh on Monday. And so there I was, signing the suspension letter. I told them that I would like to go home early so that I can visit the doctor.



However, I have some other plans yesterday. In the end, I arrived home at 8 pm, suffering again from a headache.



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I spend these days by either sleeping, or feeling my painful chest while coughing really baaddd, or playing Sims2 all day long. Just like what I've said, routines that are disrupted makes me less productive and more prone to laziness. It further destroys my system... but what can I do? These are my mom's orders for me, and besides, I am really worried about my chest.



I think I got this attitude from phanks. I wasn't this hypochondriac before. But ever since I was confined several years ago, and spending a fortune for a hospital bill, things began to change. What I don't heed before, I try to take very serious now.



cough.. cough..



And besides, I feel so old and weary. Gone are the days when I could still afford to walk under the rain with just a thick leather jacket protecting me, or party all night on weekends then attend a family affair the next afternoon. Those were the days, and sometimes, especially when I get the chance to hear those club sounds that made me raved before, I can't help but miss... everything.



It was not long ago when I went to dance club with a female friend with me. It was the first time I saw PLUs and danced to the beat of Joyrise - before it became a gay anthem. The next thing I knew year after, I was already dancing half-naked on top of a big stereo inside a dark and very hot crusing bar.



Before, PLUs would say "Pare ang galing mong sumayaw ah." then I'd just smile, face them up front... and when I liked the person who said those comments, then the rest... is history.



Those were the days. If Paulie, my ex vp back in college just knew the details... I know, he'll not believe what I've been through.



So here I am, writing the last paragraph for my day's entry. I hope that tomorrow, I'd feel better. I hope that on Monday, I can start my work again, motivated and eager to beat targets once again.



It was the first time I thought about my own death, somehow parts of those taughts were put here on my blog. Probably, the bleakness of my time had really gone into my head.



I should seek more feel-good moments.