It was the final weeks of my jobhunting stint in Makati and Ortigas. Looking for a job really did humbled me, in this last four entries before October, my entries spoke of optimism after a long and painful bouts with loss of confidence.
It was also a time when I've finally learned that sometimes, its better to do things at a moment rather than leaving them for tomorrow... Because sometimes, tomorrow may not be there to give us another chance.
Before that chapter finally closes, I just want to put the best and most memorable G-blogs entries here. In two months of absence... in G-blogs... I did breathe life.
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A Brief Moment of Optimism
Friday, 1 October 2004 12:26 AM
"Ang bango ng simoy ng hangin... Paskong pasko na nga!!!"
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I was repeatedly telling this to phanks this evening. It was about the smell of cold crisp air which reminded me of late night christmas shopping and mall hopping till it closes.
You see, before, I would try to shield my thoughts of the holidays. I know, it would be a big pain in the ass since I'd be considering too many things before I go shopping.
The Christmas holidays is the only time I splurge without thinking of savings. I'd always held on to my belief that it's better to give than to recieve.Wala lang, it seems like optimism was in the air this evening. For the first time in recent months, I was completely free to think about buying things for my mom or go to supermarket for groceries. I was dreaming of treating again my sister and my mom to a homey restaurant, since dad rarely treated us to those places - even when money was literally coming to him from every corner.
Perhaps this is because of the anticipated liberty I will get from having a job... I know, its too early to speculate, but the thoughts of having that extra income, would be a great relief to my mom's weekly budget.
Sana makarecover muna ako bago ako batuhan ng bagong pagsubok ng Diyos. Gusto ko lang maenjoy itong mga sandaling ito... alam ko namang ang problema ay nasa tabi tabi lang. Just this once. I want everything to remain constant. Let change happen at the start of the new year.
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At The End of the Line
Wednesday, 29 September 2004 10:09 PM
It was several days before August when I silently left EPAC for another world.
And it took me two months before I found myself again in this kind of scenario...
Who would ever forget the time, when I would get excited every sunday coz its time for me to buy those two big newspapers to look for available jobs.
And who would ever forget the countless times my application had been rejected, the thoughts of being a grand looser at a time when everyone's at the height of their career, the unbearable late mornings and early afternoons walking along Makati streets entering buildings, hoping that my resume would take the place of an effective emissary.
Indeed, jobhunting humbled me. Two years ago, I was completely secured with my job. Four months ago, I was part of the highest echelon of my dad's own empire. My thoughts were I would one day inherit it. Why look outside when everythings completely assured...
Until the day I've realized that everything can crumble.And it did. Less than a week after I declared that we have completely recovered.
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This journey would probably one of the most painful and unsecuring I've ever had so far. It opened up a lot of new pespectives for me in understanding a portion of life, I would never see several years ago. Indeed, this endeavor taught me to respect jobhunters out there. Remembering all their stories, their friendship and saying goodbyes to them after a brief moment of acquaintance, never to see again tells how brief and fleeting life could be.
As if everything is just a passing moment.
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This afternoon, our helper woke me up because of a phonecall. It was from the last company I tried to sell myself to.
After two weeks of nerve wrecking waiting. After rethinking of how my life would change if ever I'll be hired or dumped again.
After sending a prayer request to Santa Clara for this to happen.
On October 4, Monday. The day has finally arrived.
I am set for training.
My journey ends here.
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Halaman
Saturday, 25 September 2004 3:57 AM
alas kwatro na...
pero hindi pa rin ako nilulubayan ng aking sariling guilt feelings.
sa totoo, wala naman akong kasalanan dun eh, pero kung sinipag sana akong pumunta, hindi mangyayari yun. kung sana nagkaroon ako ng tyaga magtren papunta roon, normal pa rin ang lahat para sa kanya.
nagtext si mama sakin ngayon hapon, sabi niya dinala daw sa ospital ang lola ko dahil nadapa at malaki ang tama sa kanyang mata.
dun pa lang, parang sumabog na ang dibdib ko sa pagsisisi. hindi dapat nangyari yun kung nandun ako kanina.
plano ko kasi bumisita sa lola ko ngayong araw since may pinapabili rin silang pito-pito tea sakin kay ernie baron. balak ko rin ibigay sa kanya yung halaman na gustong gusto niya nung bumisita siya sakin. binili ko yun sa tagaytay at matagal ko nang hinahanap yung halamang yun.
kaninang umaga, tumawag si lola dito sa bahay para ipatanong sa akin kung magkano ba yung pito-pito na yun. hindi na ako nagcall-back dahil alam ko namang bibisita ako.pero sa kasamaang palad, nailock nila mama yung pinto sa kwarto nila bago siya umalis. low bat na ako't kelangan ko magcharge ng phone. iniintay ko sana yung driver namin para ipa-charge yung cell ko sa kotse at sa kakaintay, nakatulugan ko ito.
lumipas ang buong araw at walang nangyari sa akin. tambay lang sa kwarto, laro ng sims at homeworld2 at humilata sa kama na animo'y stuff toy na pangdisplay lang.
hanggang sa nangyari ang dapat hindi mangyari...
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dumating kaming namumugto pa ang mata ng tita ko. nakita ko si lola, na sinusubuan nila. kung titingnan, parang wala namang nangyari sa kanya. walang dextrose o kahit anong aparato na magpapakita na naka-confine siya, except sa black eye malapit sa kanang mata.
matagal nang nabulag yung kaliwa niyang mata dahil sa katandaan. malabo na rin ang paningin ng kanang mata niya dahil dito. dapat sana ooperahan siya para matanggal ang blood clot sa eyeball niya pero dahil matindi ang rekomendasyon ng mga espesyalista na hindi siya pwede operahan at lagyan ng anesthesia dahil maaring hindi na siya magising pagkatapos.
nagdesisyon kami na hayaan na lang na maging ganun ang kalagayan ng natitira pa niyang mata
na hindi na maaring makakita pa.
kung sana nakapunta ako kaninang tanghali at nadala ko yung halamang gustong gusto niya, maaring ngayon ok pa rin siya.
pero dahil sa aksidenteng ito, maaring sa buong buhay naming ito...
hindi na niya maeenjoy yung halaman na yun.hindi na niya maaring makita ang kagandahan ng mundo.
bulag na siya.
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Miniminiminimo
Monday, 20 September 2004 3:24 PM
"I'm here at Makati again looking for work. Honestly, i'm a little bit enthusiastic of hitting the spot this week. I don't want to be hopeful because once I fail, I get frustrated. I pray that I'll find one soon. I hope it would be the one I am searching for."
- Unpublished blog entry: September 20, 2004: 1:22 pm.
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After returning the interview guidelines phamplet to People 4 People, I asked one of their recruiters about my status in HSBC.
She said I passed. That I did make it in the final interview and they are already processing my application. I might recieve a call this week.
It was the biggest surprise of my life, especially now that I have already dumped the idea of working in a call center. However, I'm not that excited anymore. Probably the call center fever had already wore me down and that, I am just expecting the first job offer that land on my feet.
This morning, I applied as a researcher for an IT company. They are looking for a journalism graduate, and I'm confident that my resume would fit in to their requirements.
The exam was quite difficult, but since I am trained for words, I think I did well in the exam despite its difficulty. Like all companies do, they'd call me sometime this week if ever I passed the exam. I am confident that I did, but I'm holding all my hopes.
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Anyway, with those options in my hand, I decided to forego my application in another agency. Based from a regrettable experience, once I get swamped by offers, I tend to wait for the best one. However, sometimes the best is not meant for me so I went home empty handed.
This time, I'd take the first company who will give me an offer. I want to broaden my options, but for the sake of not committing the same mistake again, I'll limit my options to around 4 openings this week.
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Besides, I've already bought my sims2 pc game and I'm already hooked up with it.
The Techno Revolution, Unnoticed
6 years ago
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