There were a lot of times when I would just brace myself because I felt that our end was near. I can't remember how many times, I thought of breaking up with him, just because my paranoia or disappointment towards him won't contain me. It was so long ago, when he came into my life... and as this day approaches, I can't help but wonder, how on earth did we survive even though at times, the feelings are already gone.
Last night, I was so upset after someone from PAG-IBIG came to office and demanded to see our documents. The truth is, I was so damn afraid that I'll get implicated because I am ignorant, or should I say, left with responsibilities that I am not ready to uphold. Anyway, when phanks and I met, we had this long debate whether our anniversary would fall on April 21st, or May 21st. He was insisting it was May, but I know how we started. I cherished every moment we've met during our eyeball. I still remember how we found each other in YM. With those vivid memories, how can I forget?
But phanks was not convinced. He was still insisting it was on the 21st of May.
Our argument just stopped, after he felt that I am extremely troubled. Of course, he can't understand how the problems in the company really affected me. But he still is my guy, no matter how I hated him sometimes for being a bisexual flirt, he always console me whenever I am troubled.
---
Today is our 2nd year of being a couple.
I could still remember how our eyeball went, and how we ended up sleeping in motmot that evening.
Tonight, I was planning to bring my bud again in a motmot despite the fact that I needed to budget my remaining cash. But he insisted that he's hungry so I decided that we dine in the baywalk area instead.
Over our dinner consisting of Nilasing na Hipon and Spaghetti with Wings, we talked about the girl officemate who constantly seduced him to get into a relationship with her. We also talked about his closeted officemate who saw me last week when I went to fetch my bud somewhere in Manila. Bud said that he can't imagine a maangas-looking guy like me would end up being non-straight.
We never talked that much, but this date was far better than the anniversary date we had last year.
After our dinner, we strolled along baywalk then went to Malate to reminisce the old days, when we could just go there and have some fun ourselves.
But to tell you honestly, having your bud along reduces half of the fun you can have when you're with friends... so I don't usually bring my bud whenever I have my own night outs...
Anyway, we boarded an FX going to Monumento going home.
Inside the FX, I felt a serene comfort as I snugged on his back, despite the passengers beside us. We dozed off together, while our fingers held each other under the cover of his backpack.
In my dreams, I just wish that despite our growing rifts and differences; despite the feeling of confusion that I needed to let him go so that he could try his luck in having a heterosexual relationship (as I question my own homosexual preference) ; despite some occassional thoughts of going my own way, and seek my destiny alone among the stars...
I just wish that we could endure each other for another year. He's right when he said that our bond is remarkable because at this age, we should still be experimenting with other options. But we hold on - through a single but determined realization that without him or me in this relationship, we are nothing.
We might just be lost satellites revolving aimlessly on every planet we encounter.
Last night, I was so upset after someone from PAG-IBIG came to office and demanded to see our documents. The truth is, I was so damn afraid that I'll get implicated because I am ignorant, or should I say, left with responsibilities that I am not ready to uphold. Anyway, when phanks and I met, we had this long debate whether our anniversary would fall on April 21st, or May 21st. He was insisting it was May, but I know how we started. I cherished every moment we've met during our eyeball. I still remember how we found each other in YM. With those vivid memories, how can I forget?
But phanks was not convinced. He was still insisting it was on the 21st of May.
Our argument just stopped, after he felt that I am extremely troubled. Of course, he can't understand how the problems in the company really affected me. But he still is my guy, no matter how I hated him sometimes for being a bisexual flirt, he always console me whenever I am troubled.
---
Today is our 2nd year of being a couple.
I could still remember how our eyeball went, and how we ended up sleeping in motmot that evening.
Tonight, I was planning to bring my bud again in a motmot despite the fact that I needed to budget my remaining cash. But he insisted that he's hungry so I decided that we dine in the baywalk area instead.
Over our dinner consisting of Nilasing na Hipon and Spaghetti with Wings, we talked about the girl officemate who constantly seduced him to get into a relationship with her. We also talked about his closeted officemate who saw me last week when I went to fetch my bud somewhere in Manila. Bud said that he can't imagine a maangas-looking guy like me would end up being non-straight.
We never talked that much, but this date was far better than the anniversary date we had last year.
After our dinner, we strolled along baywalk then went to Malate to reminisce the old days, when we could just go there and have some fun ourselves.
But to tell you honestly, having your bud along reduces half of the fun you can have when you're with friends... so I don't usually bring my bud whenever I have my own night outs...
Anyway, we boarded an FX going to Monumento going home.
Inside the FX, I felt a serene comfort as I snugged on his back, despite the passengers beside us. We dozed off together, while our fingers held each other under the cover of his backpack.
In my dreams, I just wish that despite our growing rifts and differences; despite the feeling of confusion that I needed to let him go so that he could try his luck in having a heterosexual relationship (as I question my own homosexual preference) ; despite some occassional thoughts of going my own way, and seek my destiny alone among the stars...
I just wish that we could endure each other for another year. He's right when he said that our bond is remarkable because at this age, we should still be experimenting with other options. But we hold on - through a single but determined realization that without him or me in this relationship, we are nothing.
We might just be lost satellites revolving aimlessly on every planet we encounter.
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