So I went to this baptismal of Iceroze's baby.
Shet! I was in full formal attire. I literally stood out of every ninongs there. In fact, someone even thought that I was the father. Hell. I wish I do. After carrying the kid and teaching him to love the Guerrero Brandy bottle for several minutes, I realized how good it might be to have my own baby boy.
And have my own genes, personalities and quirks copied on him. Forget a nanay. I only wanted a kid of my own.
Yet, on the other hand. Iceroze looked gorgeous this afternoon.
Gone are the days when I'd see her haggard and stressed out due to adjusting to his ex-boyfriend's whims. Gone are the days of silence; when we would just stare at each other, smile a little and then move on to our destinations, like we're keeping this very very ancient bond that must be hidden from his lover.
Still, some of my classmates won't understand why did I loved her more than my ex-girlfriend.
Perhaps, because I exerted so much effort to show my feelings to her. Perhaps, because I suddenly realized that I loved her on the eve of formalizing her relationship with her ex-boyfriend who got her pregnant and that made our story more painful and cherishing compared to my story with ex-gf.
Sayang. I was telling a girl classmate of mine (who doesn't still know my new preference) on our way home na kung siguro kami ang nagkatuluyan, hindi magiging ganun ang buhay ni Iceroze.
I wish.
As for a kid. I was wondering, would there ever be a time that I would have one of my own? Top na naman ako. I could still get emotionally attracted to the opposite sex. Lately, I am having this notion that I might be in fact a bisexual-in-denial and not a full-pledged homosexual as I used to claim. Will the heavens tweak my inner workings so that I'll become a fully-capable heterosexual again?
---
Which makes me wonder still;
Am I still that masculine as I used to be two years ago? Or have I transformed already and have embraced effeminity in one way or another?
Yet still, why am I asking these things when I have claimed already that brands never mattered anymore?
Shet! I was in full formal attire. I literally stood out of every ninongs there. In fact, someone even thought that I was the father. Hell. I wish I do. After carrying the kid and teaching him to love the Guerrero Brandy bottle for several minutes, I realized how good it might be to have my own baby boy.
And have my own genes, personalities and quirks copied on him. Forget a nanay. I only wanted a kid of my own.
Yet, on the other hand. Iceroze looked gorgeous this afternoon.
Gone are the days when I'd see her haggard and stressed out due to adjusting to his ex-boyfriend's whims. Gone are the days of silence; when we would just stare at each other, smile a little and then move on to our destinations, like we're keeping this very very ancient bond that must be hidden from his lover.
Still, some of my classmates won't understand why did I loved her more than my ex-girlfriend.
Perhaps, because I exerted so much effort to show my feelings to her. Perhaps, because I suddenly realized that I loved her on the eve of formalizing her relationship with her ex-boyfriend who got her pregnant and that made our story more painful and cherishing compared to my story with ex-gf.
Sayang. I was telling a girl classmate of mine (who doesn't still know my new preference) on our way home na kung siguro kami ang nagkatuluyan, hindi magiging ganun ang buhay ni Iceroze.
I wish.
As for a kid. I was wondering, would there ever be a time that I would have one of my own? Top na naman ako. I could still get emotionally attracted to the opposite sex. Lately, I am having this notion that I might be in fact a bisexual-in-denial and not a full-pledged homosexual as I used to claim. Will the heavens tweak my inner workings so that I'll become a fully-capable heterosexual again?
---
Which makes me wonder still;
Am I still that masculine as I used to be two years ago? Or have I transformed already and have embraced effeminity in one way or another?
Yet still, why am I asking these things when I have claimed already that brands never mattered anymore?
No comments:
Post a Comment