Is something difficult to achieve nowadays.
I've been sulking all this week because I have to lend my 30k to the office. It was a very difficult decision I tell you. That's the reason why it's hard to be the boss. I told them that they can return my money the moment they rebound from this season's financial difficulty, however, I don't know how long this drought would last.
In order for my mom to recieve dad's stipulation for this week, I told the finance manager that it's ok if I don't get my salary for this week's period. After all, one has to sacrifice for the greater good of the household, and that's what I'm telling myself these last two days so I can get it off my system.
Losing money and worrying where to get one makes me really really depressed.
---
What's more depressing is the fact that today is monday and I'll be expecting them to be all too panicky the whole morning. It's all about finances and what we've been desperately looking for this week is someone who can lend us money. Someone who is willing to invest their 100k+ bucks to be paid staggardly everyday.
Again, we would be asking for miracles. God has been gracious to us last week, I don't know if he would still perform his glorious manifestation today.
I just hope we will survive this.
We've been to worse kinds of situations, it traumatized me dearly... and it makes me tremble again.
---
I had a conversation with my younger cousin about happiness. I told him that happiness is something that is immaterial, therefore material things cannot bring you happiness. Time and again, I told someone that not everything can be brought by money - I have to remind myself that money should not control my moods.
But how can I tell myself that when loosing money means leaving me unprotected from emergencies?
---
Yes, my happiness greatly depends on my sense of security. I become erratic and distracted whenever that harmony is being challenge. I hope, and I can teach myself that order can be establish without money, however I don't know if it would work on real life situations.
My weakness lies on my capacity to look beyond the present situation. I tend to worry too much on the things that may happen resulting from the decisions or situation we faced right at the moment. I tend to look too far into the future, while completely forgeting the present. It leaves me paranoid and heavily frantic, I invest too much to protect myself from unseen enemies, while the real enemies comes knocking at my doorstep.
---
Sometimes, I ask myself what makes me happy? What makes me content and in harmony with my life? Whenever this problems arises, I feel like I just lost my freedom, that I'm chained and forced to face this problem which I am totally helpless.
Before, I find peace in small things. I find peace in monotonous order. Order and routine makes me content, it doesn't make me happy but at least I can look for peace.
---
Pao's seemed to be distress on his recent blog entry. This is quite disturbing considering that he fuels that little peace I get from blogging. Just remember dude, I am here to share you your burdens. Everything will be ok. Trust me.
---
Again, blogging became my security blanket.. my whiner's pit. A very close friend just invited in his friendster account. It seems like our (my) secretary has her own friendster. Cool.
I've been sulking all this week because I have to lend my 30k to the office. It was a very difficult decision I tell you. That's the reason why it's hard to be the boss. I told them that they can return my money the moment they rebound from this season's financial difficulty, however, I don't know how long this drought would last.
In order for my mom to recieve dad's stipulation for this week, I told the finance manager that it's ok if I don't get my salary for this week's period. After all, one has to sacrifice for the greater good of the household, and that's what I'm telling myself these last two days so I can get it off my system.
Losing money and worrying where to get one makes me really really depressed.
---
What's more depressing is the fact that today is monday and I'll be expecting them to be all too panicky the whole morning. It's all about finances and what we've been desperately looking for this week is someone who can lend us money. Someone who is willing to invest their 100k+ bucks to be paid staggardly everyday.
Again, we would be asking for miracles. God has been gracious to us last week, I don't know if he would still perform his glorious manifestation today.
I just hope we will survive this.
We've been to worse kinds of situations, it traumatized me dearly... and it makes me tremble again.
---
I had a conversation with my younger cousin about happiness. I told him that happiness is something that is immaterial, therefore material things cannot bring you happiness. Time and again, I told someone that not everything can be brought by money - I have to remind myself that money should not control my moods.
But how can I tell myself that when loosing money means leaving me unprotected from emergencies?
---
Yes, my happiness greatly depends on my sense of security. I become erratic and distracted whenever that harmony is being challenge. I hope, and I can teach myself that order can be establish without money, however I don't know if it would work on real life situations.
My weakness lies on my capacity to look beyond the present situation. I tend to worry too much on the things that may happen resulting from the decisions or situation we faced right at the moment. I tend to look too far into the future, while completely forgeting the present. It leaves me paranoid and heavily frantic, I invest too much to protect myself from unseen enemies, while the real enemies comes knocking at my doorstep.
---
Sometimes, I ask myself what makes me happy? What makes me content and in harmony with my life? Whenever this problems arises, I feel like I just lost my freedom, that I'm chained and forced to face this problem which I am totally helpless.
Before, I find peace in small things. I find peace in monotonous order. Order and routine makes me content, it doesn't make me happy but at least I can look for peace.
---
Pao's seemed to be distress on his recent blog entry. This is quite disturbing considering that he fuels that little peace I get from blogging. Just remember dude, I am here to share you your burdens. Everything will be ok. Trust me.
---
Again, blogging became my security blanket.. my whiner's pit. A very close friend just invited in his friendster account. It seems like our (my) secretary has her own friendster. Cool.
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