It was already raining when I arrived at Kitties, Dapitan this evening. Drei, texted me this afternoon inviting me to join their drinking-reunion tonight. However, they were still out of sight when I entered the small, ordinary karinderia were we used to meet before. I thought they were just tripping me.
Suddenly, as I was thinking if they tricked me or not, the memories of our college days began to flow back again in my mind.
---
Drei was fatter now, compared to the last time I saw her. She's always the punk-chick who'd bitch-slap anyone who comes in her way - even during our time in AB. She arrived with Paulie, my ex-VP. It seems like they were the only ones who came. Like old times, we're the only ones who always make their presence felt whenever a reunion like this was called.
Unlike the last time I saw them, I was still jobless. Tonight, I was proud to inform the two of them that I found a job, that I can share my experiences with them as they go on with their careers.
BTW Drei's from Inquires, the only newspaper we've looked upon during our days. While Paulie's still stucked with his CBCP career. I'm happy that despite the changes they remained constant. In these days were everything can happen with just a blink of an eye, these guys remained true to their calling.
---
Over a bottle of San Mig Light, we've talked about the things that happened in our lives; their monotonous careers; Paulie's desire to move to a "more affordable" nook where he can still enjoy his "privacy"; Drei's quest to find a lovelife before her birthday; and updates about our former classmates and friends.
Of course, we talked about how we missed everything back then, how we longed for the days when reality was just a far-flung thought of our imagination.
---
On my other blog, one of my sentiments was the realization that I'm just going in circles. As I was contemplating about my future back then, the thought of being lost in the crossroads made me so devastated.
Several weeks ago, I've read James' blog and he realized the same thing too, and I responded by assuring him that I just came out of that phase.
Tonight, over a couple of beers, Drei and Paulie were also expressing the same thing.
Lahat ba ng kasing edad namin eh nararamdaman rin ito? ang pagkawala ng direksyon at daang tatahakin?
---
Maybe this is just one of the hang-overs of transition from being an idealist about the world to becoming a realist who sees a world turning against them. The truth is, half of myself was already covered with cynicism and those who still defy the changes would continue to suffer deep anxieties and secret insecurities...
Who said only adolescents were the only ones suffering this fate? Those of us who clinged on to idealism for so long still suffers over and over again the pain waking up in the cold.
waking up to the thought that we will also be corrupted by the people around us.
That was how we felt as we re-lived the days when we're just a bunch of college folks who chased their dreams back in the university. How we wished that we could just reclaim a piece of that past, see ourselves again from that perspective
and enjoy our freedom more while we still can.
Now most of us have become nameless persons who are striving to maintain a mere speck of our former individualism...
---
I thought drei would confront me with this blog since she's been a great lurker of many blogs I am connected with. I thought she found this one already and that made me worried for several days. With her imminent discovery of this blog soon, I already told her that if ever she founds out this beating pulse of my soul, she should inform me at once so that I can explain everything to her.
That I'm not the same person she used to know anymore.
---
It was still raining when we paid our bills. Later this evening, we've learned that our watering hole would cease to exist by next year to pave the way for a new structure that would rise along that boring street near UST.
Drei's response was to call a reunion of all Kittie's/Batcave's drinkers on their last day of operation. I know, it was just a mere icebreaker to the fact that one of our precious mementos would forever be taken from us. I don't know if we would return before they leave, but I guess that was already goodbye.
For all our lives, subconciously we are trying to defy the changes and hold on to the status quo. This compromise between my unwell body and them is just a sign of it. From tomorrow till the next time we meet, surely we would bump each other again somewhere in the metro. Probably, just a short hello or minutes-worth of small talk by then. For all honesty, I am overjoyed to just even hear their voices on the phone, or when I read the newest update in their blogs.
Because that way, there remains a connections between us.
---
Drei told me that I am too in touch with my emotions... that I was displaying too much effeminity by expressing my thoughts this way.
Well it might be just your point of view ex_groupie,
I'm just too attached with my humanity.
Suddenly, as I was thinking if they tricked me or not, the memories of our college days began to flow back again in my mind.
---
Drei was fatter now, compared to the last time I saw her. She's always the punk-chick who'd bitch-slap anyone who comes in her way - even during our time in AB. She arrived with Paulie, my ex-VP. It seems like they were the only ones who came. Like old times, we're the only ones who always make their presence felt whenever a reunion like this was called.
Unlike the last time I saw them, I was still jobless. Tonight, I was proud to inform the two of them that I found a job, that I can share my experiences with them as they go on with their careers.
BTW Drei's from Inquires, the only newspaper we've looked upon during our days. While Paulie's still stucked with his CBCP career. I'm happy that despite the changes they remained constant. In these days were everything can happen with just a blink of an eye, these guys remained true to their calling.
---
Over a bottle of San Mig Light, we've talked about the things that happened in our lives; their monotonous careers; Paulie's desire to move to a "more affordable" nook where he can still enjoy his "privacy"; Drei's quest to find a lovelife before her birthday; and updates about our former classmates and friends.
Of course, we talked about how we missed everything back then, how we longed for the days when reality was just a far-flung thought of our imagination.
---
On my other blog, one of my sentiments was the realization that I'm just going in circles. As I was contemplating about my future back then, the thought of being lost in the crossroads made me so devastated.
Several weeks ago, I've read James' blog and he realized the same thing too, and I responded by assuring him that I just came out of that phase.
Tonight, over a couple of beers, Drei and Paulie were also expressing the same thing.
Lahat ba ng kasing edad namin eh nararamdaman rin ito? ang pagkawala ng direksyon at daang tatahakin?
---
Maybe this is just one of the hang-overs of transition from being an idealist about the world to becoming a realist who sees a world turning against them. The truth is, half of myself was already covered with cynicism and those who still defy the changes would continue to suffer deep anxieties and secret insecurities...
Who said only adolescents were the only ones suffering this fate? Those of us who clinged on to idealism for so long still suffers over and over again the pain waking up in the cold.
waking up to the thought that we will also be corrupted by the people around us.
That was how we felt as we re-lived the days when we're just a bunch of college folks who chased their dreams back in the university. How we wished that we could just reclaim a piece of that past, see ourselves again from that perspective
and enjoy our freedom more while we still can.
Now most of us have become nameless persons who are striving to maintain a mere speck of our former individualism...
---
I thought drei would confront me with this blog since she's been a great lurker of many blogs I am connected with. I thought she found this one already and that made me worried for several days. With her imminent discovery of this blog soon, I already told her that if ever she founds out this beating pulse of my soul, she should inform me at once so that I can explain everything to her.
That I'm not the same person she used to know anymore.
---
It was still raining when we paid our bills. Later this evening, we've learned that our watering hole would cease to exist by next year to pave the way for a new structure that would rise along that boring street near UST.
Drei's response was to call a reunion of all Kittie's/Batcave's drinkers on their last day of operation. I know, it was just a mere icebreaker to the fact that one of our precious mementos would forever be taken from us. I don't know if we would return before they leave, but I guess that was already goodbye.
For all our lives, subconciously we are trying to defy the changes and hold on to the status quo. This compromise between my unwell body and them is just a sign of it. From tomorrow till the next time we meet, surely we would bump each other again somewhere in the metro. Probably, just a short hello or minutes-worth of small talk by then. For all honesty, I am overjoyed to just even hear their voices on the phone, or when I read the newest update in their blogs.
Because that way, there remains a connections between us.
---
Drei told me that I am too in touch with my emotions... that I was displaying too much effeminity by expressing my thoughts this way.
Well it might be just your point of view ex_groupie,
I'm just too attached with my humanity.
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