Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Line That Separates The Shadows From The Light

Tomorrow will be the last day of our training.

The five days we spent having a refresher with the english language proved to be invaluable. A week ago, I was barely speaking in English. Today, I was even having a conversation with XP in American when I dropped by his place this evening.

In a span of five days, I slowly discovered new friends. This training gave me the opportunity to meet new people and blend with straight men. Never did I bonded this much with such guys, it's unfortunate however that we only have a day to hang out before we separate and go our own ways.

Surely I would miss the puff sessions we have every morning breaks, lunchbreaks, afternoon breaks and dismissals. I would miss the am-boys and the promil babies who often break the ice whenever nervousness gets into our hearts. I would miss our mini-games, the bleaky view of Pasig and the rest of Rizal province shrouded in smog from the window of our training room. And of course, I would miss Mr. Cutie, who had mystified me during the four days of our training.

This is... a great experience. It really did divert my attention from the looming problems in our publishing business and the rest of the world.

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However, the resource person said that she's really concerned about my performance.

She said, that despite the training, I still sounded like Filipino especially when I am rattled. And that means I might fall short of the passing tomorrow, If I don't do well.

That's why I dropped by XP's place this evening in hopes of gaining confidence on the way I speak a foreign language. For the first time, I have appreciated his tongue whenever he speaks that way in front of the tropa before.

I admit, having a conversation with him in that way made me feel awkward. It's like expressing something you could have easily said in Filipino, but now you are having a difficulty explaining it to him in another language.

I stuttered at first. But I have observed that as our conversation continues and comfortabily sets in, I was beginning to sound like he did.

I was already speaking his tongue all by myself.

I just wish that by tomorrow, I will still have that tongue during our mock interview.

Tonight is the eve of the judgement day. The only thing I can do now is to close my eyes and think... that this is all but just a passing moment.

Whatever happens, life moves on to begin a new story angle.

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