If there is one person in the world that closely resembles my mom in terms of personality and attitutde, the only woman I can think of is my ex-classmate Biela.
You see, until now, I can't still remember how we first met or how we became close - very close even if I don't hang around with her company. In fact, we're worlds apart inside the class. Perhaps the only thing that bonds us together is that invicible connection that made us understood each other even if we don't often talk much.
There were a lot of times when our closeness did stirred the minds of our other classmates. I could never blame them of their speculation since I was open to everyone with my admiration to this lady. Never did anyone know that whenever my tropa would talk about the most attractive/girlfriend material among my classmates... Biela, and yes, even Andrea would be in my top 5.
So what's this entry all about then? One may wonder especially now that I have shifted my preference to the other side.
A few years back, the thing that really trembles me is when people from my batch found out my "new activities" months after I broke up with my ex-gf. Don't get me wrong guys, I was non-PLU during those days and I never imagined how far will I penetrate this lifestyle.
However, things have changed swiftly. Never did I thought that with the help and inspiration from my tropa, the ODDERS, will I find the courage to dismantle the borders that separates me from my recent past.
These past few months after I took over most of the responsibilities our dad was supposed to carry, I've learned somehow to finally open those locked borders and allow myself - my PLU self to be known by those who I am really close with. Lately, we've been exchanging messages with Biela, talking about life and our failed/lost aspirations as we grow older. Definitely we've seen each other confront our own dilemma, and how we coped up with changes before.
Now, things are different.
Along those lines of exchanges, I've realized that why should I keep a majority of me hidden from her. Would she not understand, or even accept the changes? Would my own small victories against life not enough to support my choice to become...
a non-straight?
At that moment, the only thought is that we're on the same plane of existence, fighting our own battles, missing the days when we'll just sit in one corner and talk about how life was for us and breathe a sigh of renewal after we have consoled each other. For all I know, she's one of the best advisers one can ever find in one lifetime. I can still never forget those times when I'd ask her opinions about the things that's been going in my life.
Now that I've learned to stand on my own - far from everyone from the past to see, perhaps it's time for her to read my personal battlecries on a perspective I rarely allow anyone to see.
In the spirit of our friendship over the years, even if we've never seen each other again after graduation... I think letting her into this world would be my strongest testament
that the invicible line that connects us together is still intact.
Welcome to Phankspace,
Biela.
You see, until now, I can't still remember how we first met or how we became close - very close even if I don't hang around with her company. In fact, we're worlds apart inside the class. Perhaps the only thing that bonds us together is that invicible connection that made us understood each other even if we don't often talk much.
There were a lot of times when our closeness did stirred the minds of our other classmates. I could never blame them of their speculation since I was open to everyone with my admiration to this lady. Never did anyone know that whenever my tropa would talk about the most attractive/girlfriend material among my classmates... Biela, and yes, even Andrea would be in my top 5.
So what's this entry all about then? One may wonder especially now that I have shifted my preference to the other side.
A few years back, the thing that really trembles me is when people from my batch found out my "new activities" months after I broke up with my ex-gf. Don't get me wrong guys, I was non-PLU during those days and I never imagined how far will I penetrate this lifestyle.
However, things have changed swiftly. Never did I thought that with the help and inspiration from my tropa, the ODDERS, will I find the courage to dismantle the borders that separates me from my recent past.
These past few months after I took over most of the responsibilities our dad was supposed to carry, I've learned somehow to finally open those locked borders and allow myself - my PLU self to be known by those who I am really close with. Lately, we've been exchanging messages with Biela, talking about life and our failed/lost aspirations as we grow older. Definitely we've seen each other confront our own dilemma, and how we coped up with changes before.
Now, things are different.
Along those lines of exchanges, I've realized that why should I keep a majority of me hidden from her. Would she not understand, or even accept the changes? Would my own small victories against life not enough to support my choice to become...
a non-straight?
At that moment, the only thought is that we're on the same plane of existence, fighting our own battles, missing the days when we'll just sit in one corner and talk about how life was for us and breathe a sigh of renewal after we have consoled each other. For all I know, she's one of the best advisers one can ever find in one lifetime. I can still never forget those times when I'd ask her opinions about the things that's been going in my life.
Now that I've learned to stand on my own - far from everyone from the past to see, perhaps it's time for her to read my personal battlecries on a perspective I rarely allow anyone to see.
In the spirit of our friendship over the years, even if we've never seen each other again after graduation... I think letting her into this world would be my strongest testament
that the invicible line that connects us together is still intact.
Welcome to Phankspace,
Biela.
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