Trauma Unit

It has finally taken its toll.



The picture of my mom bloodied and crying... worried and panicking in the CR, is still fresh in my mind. It still makes me very very upset and resentful.



Our bitter fight last night with Phanks about his "unreported" activities added to the confusion and sadness I am harboring. I feel like he's keeping something from me. I know that he has not crossed the line yet, but my mind, tells me that I should be wary... perhaps even distant to him.



Lately, I've been very concious about my physical appearance, my work, my attitude towards others. The trauma I had last Tuesday pushed me to the brink of being harsh with my words and frank towards others when it comes to my feelings.



Add to that the carnival that is happening to FPJ's funeral, the death of Jose De Venecia's daughter because of a fire, the uncertainty that is happening these days in the country.



I've never been so paranoid... or fearful lately. My faith, in fact has gotten into limbo.



During these times, I just want to be distant, isolated and even silent about everything. I just want to speak to myself about my feelings but whenever the flashbacks of yesterday appears on my mind, I become numb, and somehow destructive thoughts surfaces in my mind.



Perhaps, I will just let this holiday season pass. Heal my own self the best way I can, and then

when everything is over, when my committments are already in its last phase.



I'll just lull myself to sleep.

while licking the wounds that has consumed me.