Actually, the reason why I decided to revive Darkstar is because someone has become a distraction to me right now.
I can't really remember how we became chatmates but he belongs to my past - he was one of the guys I used to chat and flirt with when I was still single.
Nung naging kami ni phanks, I stopped using YM. And I turned my back to everything I have accomplished there.
---
Sabi niya sakin, three years ago, ako ang pinakamakulit na kausap niya. I was soo good in making him amused that he never deleted my profile in his YM. Di ko naman matandaan kung gaano ako kakulit noon, but when we again chatted last Tuesday, I feel very much comfortable with him.
So comfortable that we decided to exchange numbers again.
And for two days, we took yosi breaks together.
Although we are miles apart, I would call him while I puff my yosi.
Wala naman kaming pinag-uusapan kundi puro kalokohan lang, pero galing niya talaga mambola eh. I mean... na-aawaken niya yung feminine side ko, for reasons I can't really explain.
Siguro dahil bisexual siya. Siguro dahil mas matanda siya sakin at involved siya sa straight niyang buhay saka sa mga tsiks kaya ganun ako ka-focused sa kanya. After all, this is something new in my life.
Or maybe because of his stories about his girlfriend, his same-sex brief sexual encounters, and the fact that he has a 9-year old kid which he raises as a single parent made me more interested in him.
... perhaps because no matter how I deny it, Im still looking for a big-brother material and his revelation that he has a boy already, na pangarap ko magkaroon balang araw, further reinforces my fondness of him.
Kahapon nga nagbibiruan kami na kung pwede ba ako mag-apply maging kabit niya.
----
Truth be revealed: he really turns me on!
Pag nag-uusap kami during my work, mas nagiging feel ko yung role kong maging haliparot na gerl sa mga foreign textmates ko dahil sa kanya.
However, we have never met yet, nor I saw his pic in YM or friendster. Medyo nag-iingat rin ako dahil sa galing niyang mambola, napapaniwala niya ako sa mga kwento niyang - maaring stir rin.
Kaya iniiwasan ko rin maging involved ng husto or magkaroon ng mas malalim na feeling sa mga kalokohan namin.
Truth is, I hate it but at the same time I love it!
Kung nagising lang ako ng maaga ngayon, I would submit a resume at InfoNXX (Call Center) as an excuse to call him and ask him for a yosi break at the smoking area since he works in the same building.
Para lang once and for all, we would meet already and everything would be revealed.
Kasi naman di rin ako confident sa sarili ko, what if he's whammy and Im flirting with someone not in my league?
What if he's not my type or I am not his type and were just wasting our time on each other?
I could still remember what happened to a friend who flirted with someone in YM, yet it turns out that when they met in person, my friend realized that the guy he flirted is not his type.
So dedmahan forever sila after that disastrous meeting.
And I don't want it to happen to me.
---
Heto na ang third day namin na nag-eengage ng direct communication.
I cannot deny the fact that everyday, I get more and more excited towards him.
And this feelings I have right now, is something I never felt for a very long time.
I just hope that it would subside soon...
Because I know, our moment is just a fiction in our long and boring lives.
I can't really remember how we became chatmates but he belongs to my past - he was one of the guys I used to chat and flirt with when I was still single.
Nung naging kami ni phanks, I stopped using YM. And I turned my back to everything I have accomplished there.
---
Sabi niya sakin, three years ago, ako ang pinakamakulit na kausap niya. I was soo good in making him amused that he never deleted my profile in his YM. Di ko naman matandaan kung gaano ako kakulit noon, but when we again chatted last Tuesday, I feel very much comfortable with him.
So comfortable that we decided to exchange numbers again.
And for two days, we took yosi breaks together.
Although we are miles apart, I would call him while I puff my yosi.
Wala naman kaming pinag-uusapan kundi puro kalokohan lang, pero galing niya talaga mambola eh. I mean... na-aawaken niya yung feminine side ko, for reasons I can't really explain.
Siguro dahil bisexual siya. Siguro dahil mas matanda siya sakin at involved siya sa straight niyang buhay saka sa mga tsiks kaya ganun ako ka-focused sa kanya. After all, this is something new in my life.
Or maybe because of his stories about his girlfriend, his same-sex brief sexual encounters, and the fact that he has a 9-year old kid which he raises as a single parent made me more interested in him.
... perhaps because no matter how I deny it, Im still looking for a big-brother material and his revelation that he has a boy already, na pangarap ko magkaroon balang araw, further reinforces my fondness of him.
Kahapon nga nagbibiruan kami na kung pwede ba ako mag-apply maging kabit niya.
----
Truth be revealed: he really turns me on!
Pag nag-uusap kami during my work, mas nagiging feel ko yung role kong maging haliparot na gerl sa mga foreign textmates ko dahil sa kanya.
However, we have never met yet, nor I saw his pic in YM or friendster. Medyo nag-iingat rin ako dahil sa galing niyang mambola, napapaniwala niya ako sa mga kwento niyang - maaring stir rin.
Kaya iniiwasan ko rin maging involved ng husto or magkaroon ng mas malalim na feeling sa mga kalokohan namin.
Truth is, I hate it but at the same time I love it!
Kung nagising lang ako ng maaga ngayon, I would submit a resume at InfoNXX (Call Center) as an excuse to call him and ask him for a yosi break at the smoking area since he works in the same building.
Para lang once and for all, we would meet already and everything would be revealed.
Kasi naman di rin ako confident sa sarili ko, what if he's whammy and Im flirting with someone not in my league?
What if he's not my type or I am not his type and were just wasting our time on each other?
I could still remember what happened to a friend who flirted with someone in YM, yet it turns out that when they met in person, my friend realized that the guy he flirted is not his type.
So dedmahan forever sila after that disastrous meeting.
And I don't want it to happen to me.
---
Heto na ang third day namin na nag-eengage ng direct communication.
I cannot deny the fact that everyday, I get more and more excited towards him.
And this feelings I have right now, is something I never felt for a very long time.
I just hope that it would subside soon...
Because I know, our moment is just a fiction in our long and boring lives.
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