Saturday, June 12, 2004

Apartment Blues

Just woke up awhile ago. After clubbing last night, we went to check out Sonny and Chris' fabulous pad. The boys seems having fun redecorating their new nook, in fact as Meng and I put it, these guys can throw the Fab 5 out of business.

Being there reminded me of my own little nook somewhere in project 6 a year ago. We did have our own home and we did our best to make it homey as best as we can. It's just so amusing to see three new different people living as housemates, discovering their quirks and attitudes when in their own territory and enduring it as long as you live together.

It seems like Chris has the most remarkable attitude among the three. He seems to be the OC guy in the house. Grabe, di kinaya ng powers ko ang organization skills niya! In fact, nakakadiskubrehan na sila kung sino ang pinakakikay sa kanilang tatlo, which is something to watch for.

Nakakamiss lang kasi nung time namin, hindi pa ganun ka-close ang mga outsiders. The problem I've faced before minimized my presence in my pad. Tama si James, naging drive-in motel ko yung room ko. I am even wondering if I had really bonded with them at all, or I just never felt it but I did, in my own little way.

But you know what, living with three other guys with the same as such as your was one of the happiest days of my life. Imagine, you're free to do what you want to. Sayang nga eh, sana sinamantala ko na yung room na yun at nagdala na ako nang nagdala ng sangkatutak na... doon.

Sometimes, I just wish that I could bring back that time in my life... Sana, I made the most out of it kahit na medyo mahirap para sa akin na mahilig mamahay. Sana I did more fun with Sealdi, know more about James like Sealdi did, showed more of my quirkiness to them (which I really tried to avoid), share more memories with my housemates and bonded with them more.

Sonny, Paldeng and Paul reminded me of ourselves when we shared our nook. Sayang, I passed up the chance on many things when I had my own time.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Something To Run To.

Countless times, I was thinking... I moved out of blog yet I haven't achieved anything. All there is, was silence... and a little chit chat here and there at the PEx Thread.

But I have a lot more to say, There were a lot of personal thoughts in my head begging to be written, to be expressed as I used to do before.

The silence surrounding my space made me extremely lonely and distant. If not for my bud, I might have wandered off again. Blogging found me an island and that island self sustained me during most of my stay here. I hoped that leaving blogspace would bridge the distance this space had created, yet I feel that the distance remains. I have already exprienced how to have my own space, and I can't get out of it anymore.

The awkwardness of posting my thoughts in a public message board had already taken my mindset and my loneliness pushed me further into allowing myself to return here.

Well its time to arrange my space. It's been weeks since I left this place and I think I can't simply leave this just like that.

Tholitz Star System is now being recolonized. I need a little space to run to whenever I feel empty, afraid, nostalgic or just being plain happy...

Blogging made me feel alive.