Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Sun God (First Part)

"Mag-check in ka na. Text me when you already have a room," his text message went. "nag-iintay lang ako dito sa parking area."

His name resembled that of the Egyptian Sun God. Impressed with my profile in G4M, he sent me a private message with the intention of knowing me better. Since I was equally impressed with what he wrote in his profile, I too sent my complementaries hoping to get to know him more. The occasional private message conversations lead to YM ID exchanges. We never stayed in Yahoo for long, because the moment we realized how interesting the other person was, we started calling each other's mobile phone to continue our conversation whenever my internet got disconnected.

Then he started provoking me. At first his attacks were subtle. However, because of the deprivation and his human need to release his tension to someone as soon as possible, his provocations intensified these past few days. He was openly inviting me to go out and have some fun, which led me think of the possibilities. Being turned on with his sensibility and dominant personality, it didn't take long for me to give in. Even though he never traded his pictures to me, his voice and masculine attitude told me that I might be in for a good catch.

The provocation ended when I finally decided to meet him this afternoon.

---

Sun God and I both go to the gym. His body pic in G4M tells me that he has an impressive built. He is a sports buff on the sidelines, but his intellectual mind and academic profession gives me a hint that I am dealing with a boy wonder. To top it off, he likes to be treated "like a man" because according to him, he is used to dealing with "a girl's cold treatment." The impressions he reveals to me clearly points to the possibility that I'd be meeting someone whose masculinity is way beyond the standards I set to everyone.

When he entered the room where I was checked-in, I was in for a big surprise: He was 5'6, sporting a semikal hair, a thick goatie and a sharp pair of eyes that penetrates your being while it gaze at you. He looked like a sanggano wearing a formal attire.

As he took off his polo shirt. I could see what his boxing, weightlifting and aerobics work-out had done to his body. Let me clear that he is not someone with the perfect muscular built. However his arms and chest alone would tell me that I will have a good dinner tonight.

Sun God seems to be a worthy adversary to Dark Star.

He starts unbuttoning his pants as he ceaselessly lip-locks with me. His hands were all over my body, feeling it like it was his newly-acquired territory. Shortly before we had gone naked to bed, he commanded me to turn off the lights. I asked him why. He did not give me a concrete response. Maybe he saw me as a mere hipon - a person who has a good body but disappointing face. Perhaps I was just assuming, for he might be classified as a hipon himself. Nevertheless, the showdown continued. He commanded me to strip-off my undies while he was laying on the bed stroking his ever-growing pole.

"Not unless there is a club music blaring on the stereo, I will only strip in front of you in your dreams pare!" I told him.

---

As we went along with the foreplay, I noticed how he preferred to be the one in control. He enjoyed licking and sucking - one's chest and torso, that I got worried that he might have left some red-spot evidence on my body. Sun God was so good in doing romansa that his perfume remained long after the popoy was over.

As Dark Star, I tried my best to keep up with him. He would never let me though, for he wanted absolute dominance . In the end, I just accepted my role as his subject and boy toy for the night. Whatever he wanted, I would just follow. Yet, for some strange reasons, even if I felt being made a slut, I enjoyed what we're doing.

"Suck me..."

"I'm gonna face-fuck you."

"You want me to impale you huh pare?"

"Yours is so impressive. Good thing you're the bottom."

In the end, I was impaled and it was so damn good. After turning my back to all things PLU last week. What he did to me unleashed the sleeping demons behind the straight-acting front I showed to my barkada. He made me feel that I will always be a homo, and my purpose will always be to submit to guys as dominant as him.

Sun God finally came but it didn't stop there. I never came myself after reeling from such shock and battering he gave to me. After the first round, he stood up, exposing his broad shoulders in front of me. As he washed himself in the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror to admire myself for having a great catch.

"This is what Eclipse had done to you, Joms," I whispered to myself.

When he got out of the bathroom, he lighted a stick of Marlboro he took from his pocket and posed in front of the mirror.

"Damn big tummy," he said disappointedly.

"You're buff, accept it man." I told him.

But he said he was still not satisfied with the results. Thus, from admiring each other's body, the conversation went on touching some hidden portions of our personal lives. After finishing the stick, he went to the bed and continued sharing his past to me. From that point, I knew this activity would not be a hit-and-run.

I would have to endure another round of impalement from him.

-tobecontinued-

Monday, September 10, 2007

Passage Of Wordlessness

As I stare blankly on my computer screen, I know something dreadful is about to happen. It has been an hour, but my head still feels empty. There is weariness in my body as I squash the last remaining creative juices inside my brain. I stave off the lingering feeling of nothingness by typing a few broken sentences on my Word Pad. However, as pure thoughts flow reluctantly converting itself to wordly expressions, the sudden thought of irreconcilable emptiness leaves me deleting the entire piece altogether. "I am not satisfied; no mood to write." I say to myself. "Perhaps I must look back at my previous writings in hopes of getting inspiration once again."

I might be entering a period of incurable wordlessness.

The reason why I blog so religiously despite nothing much to say is to avoid such period of wordlessness from happening. Clearly I am suffering from a writer's block and no matter what I do, the block tightly holds its grip on me. The symptoms are already present; I start to blabber incoherently when I put my ideas into the word pad, only to get disappointed to realize how unorganized the thoughts were. Thus, some nice entries that should have made it to the blog were deleted without mercy.

Words, which I could easily grasp and manipulate during bountiful days become hard to capture. It's like catching lovely butterflies made of smoke. Fortunately, there is the Merriam-Webster website to assist me; but proofreading, which I do after every paragraph becomes more difficult to complete.

Finally in times like this, I would usually resort to writing in Filipino so that my thoughts and ideas could be expressed in a different medium. Unfortunately, not even the use of Tagalog could save me from my block. The Pinoy words, which I feel quite inappropriate or formal for my taste remains at the back of my head. Therefore, any entries which I feel like writing could never be completed because my method of expression continues to betray me.

Strange enough, it seems like the spell of wordlessness is beginning to show signs of weakness. I might be able to finish this entry without it being deleted like the rest. Maybe I should blame my lack of sleep for the past several days for this sudden blankness that looms over me. It must have been the culprit as to why I cannot think very clearly lately.

With still a review essay pending for my Non-Fiction class on Wednesday, the pressure for my apparent Writer's Block is building up. If only my creativity is boundless; if only I have learned to embrace words and sentences early on in my life, maybe I would not be as concerned with my block as I am today. Perhaps, instead of worrying too much about it, I should devote my time sleeping.

Who knows, maybe tomorrow I could already write an entire piece even if P-Man's saturating hiphop songs blare on his mini speaker.