Happy Valentines Day!
It is the time of the year when most couples want to be seen so that they can take pride of their love for one another. It is one occasion aside from Christmas where people wants to belong and dread being left out by peers who endlessly gloat and brag about their activities for this once-in-a-year event. Today is a phenomenon where one feels significantly lonely being alone, while those who have significant others take every opportunity to make their presence felt so that their other would know how good it is to be taken and how wonderful it is to be romantically involved with someone.
As for those who are single, they try to ignore the significance of this date by trying to reason out that this day is just as ordinary as the other days of the year.
Others have equipped themselves with different methods to avoid the lingering sadness of being single. Many do engage in group dates believing that there is joy in the flock of loners. Others would turn invisible just until this day pass. They convert their closets, bedrooms or any other space they consider their own as impregnable fortresses against solitude. Some of them succeed in their little pretension, while the rest - ditch the negative vibes by asking anyone to be their date. After all, nobody wants to be lonely and the company of someone is enough relief until the person they wait arrives.
Inquiries about my plans for Valentines began to pour since last week. These friends who are single are probably fishing for ideas on how to spend the occasion dateless. They know that I will keep my word when I claimed that I won't look for a date or a special someone just to be in season. I never even clinched when there was a mad rush to harvest a potential date to show for tonight.
But behind the facade of a confident bachelor, I think only few people know the real reasons for exhibiting such aversion for the occasion. You see, I do not remember having a lovely romantic valentines experience. Most, if not all, would fall insignificant to the Valentine's of my youth. Even when I was taken, I would cringe at the thought of joining every lovers in celebrating the holiday.
Valentine's is just a day. I could celebrate my love for someone all year round.
---
The campaign season for the student council elections was approaching its dramatic climax when I spent my first valentine's with a significant other. Unfortunately my ex-girlfriend and I belong to rival parties so it was difficult to be seen together inside the campus. We were able to spend the Valentines in an obscure diner in one of the narrow streets along Dapitan that day. I remember ordering Mango Crepe for the two of us. There were no flowers, cakes or even greeting cards to celebrate the occasion. I do not even recall if we were able to talk beyond politics during our date. Black propaganda strewn by our political parties were tearing us apart and the thoughts of cool-off never ventured beyond our midst. At the same time, something more sinister is stirring my way of thinking. My sexual preference is being challenged by outside forces.
A few days later, I found myself making out with some guy I met during a grand-eyeball among gays, lesbians and bisexuals from Pinoyexchange. Shortly after graduation that same year, I broke up with my girl and started dating guys like me.
---
It was also during Valentine's Day that I tasted my first break-up.
Things were not going well between me and my first boyfriend, Raizen. I was getting fed up with our daily fights and I felt his presence drifting from me. Our relationship had its nasty turn when I ran away and sought solace at Mister Piggy's a few weeks before. The expedition ended up in a passionate one night stand with someone I met at the bar. Raizen never knew that incident but I became less subservient to his demands after. The guy I got laid made me realize that I deserve someone better; that my affection should be appreciated and not taken for granted by the person who directly benefits from it.
Despite the growing rift, I tried to mend our broken relationship by giving him a surprise gift on Valentine's Day. I didn't go to work the day before just to buy an original Regine Velasquez CD at Music One. I also saved a substantial amount of money from my meager allowance should he accept my invitation to go out and date me. The following day, I left my post early to pick him up at work. He was in a good mood when I saw him, only to find out later that the reason for his high spirits was because an admirer sent him a long-stemmed red rose.
"Buti pa yung iba, nakakaalala akong bigyan ng rose." His wind whispers reached my ears. Fuming to the verge of walking out, we went home without speaking to each other. Had I known that he would love to receive flowers, I would have given him a bouquet of red blooming roses instead.
The cold treatment did not work. Instead of reaching out and apologizing for his insensitive remarks, Raizen responded with greater ferocity by ignoring my explanations when it was my turn to reach out. We were arguing in front of many people along Maceda St, when suddenly, he blurted.
"Umuwi ka na."
I tried to give him my Valentine's gift only to shove it back to me. Frustrated, I left without speaking a word. It was the first time I stood up to his pushover. That evening he called the shots. Our relationship was over and I didn't beg him to reconsider. Instead, I embraced his initiative by letting him go.
Raizen and I never got to date each other that Valentines. I was there in Quatro with my BrOdders, celebrating the occasion with a group date contingent.
---
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It is the time of the year when most couples want to be seen so that they can take pride of their love for one another. It is one occasion aside from Christmas where people wants to belong and dread being left out by peers who endlessly gloat and brag about their activities for this once-in-a-year event. Today is a phenomenon where one feels significantly lonely being alone, while those who have significant others take every opportunity to make their presence felt so that their other would know how good it is to be taken and how wonderful it is to be romantically involved with someone.
As for those who are single, they try to ignore the significance of this date by trying to reason out that this day is just as ordinary as the other days of the year.
Others have equipped themselves with different methods to avoid the lingering sadness of being single. Many do engage in group dates believing that there is joy in the flock of loners. Others would turn invisible just until this day pass. They convert their closets, bedrooms or any other space they consider their own as impregnable fortresses against solitude. Some of them succeed in their little pretension, while the rest - ditch the negative vibes by asking anyone to be their date. After all, nobody wants to be lonely and the company of someone is enough relief until the person they wait arrives.
Inquiries about my plans for Valentines began to pour since last week. These friends who are single are probably fishing for ideas on how to spend the occasion dateless. They know that I will keep my word when I claimed that I won't look for a date or a special someone just to be in season. I never even clinched when there was a mad rush to harvest a potential date to show for tonight.
But behind the facade of a confident bachelor, I think only few people know the real reasons for exhibiting such aversion for the occasion. You see, I do not remember having a lovely romantic valentines experience. Most, if not all, would fall insignificant to the Valentine's of my youth. Even when I was taken, I would cringe at the thought of joining every lovers in celebrating the holiday.
Valentine's is just a day. I could celebrate my love for someone all year round.
---
The campaign season for the student council elections was approaching its dramatic climax when I spent my first valentine's with a significant other. Unfortunately my ex-girlfriend and I belong to rival parties so it was difficult to be seen together inside the campus. We were able to spend the Valentines in an obscure diner in one of the narrow streets along Dapitan that day. I remember ordering Mango Crepe for the two of us. There were no flowers, cakes or even greeting cards to celebrate the occasion. I do not even recall if we were able to talk beyond politics during our date. Black propaganda strewn by our political parties were tearing us apart and the thoughts of cool-off never ventured beyond our midst. At the same time, something more sinister is stirring my way of thinking. My sexual preference is being challenged by outside forces.
A few days later, I found myself making out with some guy I met during a grand-eyeball among gays, lesbians and bisexuals from Pinoyexchange. Shortly after graduation that same year, I broke up with my girl and started dating guys like me.
---
It was also during Valentine's Day that I tasted my first break-up.
Things were not going well between me and my first boyfriend, Raizen. I was getting fed up with our daily fights and I felt his presence drifting from me. Our relationship had its nasty turn when I ran away and sought solace at Mister Piggy's a few weeks before. The expedition ended up in a passionate one night stand with someone I met at the bar. Raizen never knew that incident but I became less subservient to his demands after. The guy I got laid made me realize that I deserve someone better; that my affection should be appreciated and not taken for granted by the person who directly benefits from it.
Despite the growing rift, I tried to mend our broken relationship by giving him a surprise gift on Valentine's Day. I didn't go to work the day before just to buy an original Regine Velasquez CD at Music One. I also saved a substantial amount of money from my meager allowance should he accept my invitation to go out and date me. The following day, I left my post early to pick him up at work. He was in a good mood when I saw him, only to find out later that the reason for his high spirits was because an admirer sent him a long-stemmed red rose.
"Buti pa yung iba, nakakaalala akong bigyan ng rose." His wind whispers reached my ears. Fuming to the verge of walking out, we went home without speaking to each other. Had I known that he would love to receive flowers, I would have given him a bouquet of red blooming roses instead.
The cold treatment did not work. Instead of reaching out and apologizing for his insensitive remarks, Raizen responded with greater ferocity by ignoring my explanations when it was my turn to reach out. We were arguing in front of many people along Maceda St, when suddenly, he blurted.
"Umuwi ka na."
I tried to give him my Valentine's gift only to shove it back to me. Frustrated, I left without speaking a word. It was the first time I stood up to his pushover. That evening he called the shots. Our relationship was over and I didn't beg him to reconsider. Instead, I embraced his initiative by letting him go.
Raizen and I never got to date each other that Valentines. I was there in Quatro with my BrOdders, celebrating the occasion with a group date contingent.
---
-tobecontinued-