Travel Bug

Kapag ako nagkaroon ng pera, bibili ako ng 7 Megapix na digicam at pupuntang Batanes para magrelax. Shempre, upgraded na rin ang mp3 player ko nun so kahit 12 hours ang byahe mula Manila hanggang Cagayan eh ok lang. By that time, dapat maganda na rin wankata ko para kahit nakahubad ako sa beach buong araw, hindi jahe. At kung papalarin, sana may laptop na rin ako para kahit sa pier, (hindi ako mageeroplano) pwede ako mag blog at mag-upload ng pictures sa net. Sa totoo, nainggit ako dun sa MMS-ala postcard na pinadala sa akin ng dalawa kong tropang sina XP at Roy kahapon mula Galera. Alam kong kahit sobrang hassle dahil andaming nagbakasyon sa tabing dagat ngayong Mahal na Araw, nag-enjoy sila sa bakasyon nila.

Balang araw, maglalamyerda rin ako. Magtritrip ako kahit soloflight pa ang lakad ko.

Good Friday

Should I feel joyful, ecstatic, concerned, dreadful, apathetic or defensive?

Exactly one month after I first admitted my attachment to P-Man in my blog, he woke me up with a text message this morning - telling me the reasons why he can't go "on duty" and asking me when we will go out. (since our plan didn't push through two days ago) The text exchanges lead to deeper conversations giving me the opportunity to tell him all the things that I left unsaid. He also revealed some things about him and us, that he would never talk about when we go home together after his "duty."

To put it straight, there will be a next time.

And even if the gravity of attraction isn't as strong as it used to be before, I will still hold on to the words I left during our most intimate moment that fateful night.

I suppose he knows where he stands. We both know that we're independent from each other. He will live his "other" life a secret since it would be more convenient for him that way. Despite the complications, I'd never leave, unless he wants me to. And he will never suffer the same fate of those who came before him. Our friendship, despite its ambiguity, will remain.

P-Man was the first to break my long and sacred tradition of separating sex from friendship. That distinction alone, gives him a special place in my heart, that nobody else can ever take.

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it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna lose
it's not hard to grow
when you know that you just don't know

- Damien Rice, Cannonball