Matronix Unlimited

I met a bunch of kids last saturday during their second GEB. When I say kids, it means they are young homos like me - except that I find them much more innocent and angel-like than yours truly. In fact, I was even too shy to open up a topic coming from me - which would most likely revolve around boys or sex. Baka mamaya, some of them might just do a sign of the cross then do a pray-over in front of me. I guess except for the organizer, and mister Choirboy, the 30 year old guy who also joined the activity, most of the kids there were just barely out of the closet.

The GEB reminds me of the days when I was just starting to meet up guys like me. They said they were bisexuals - which in my mind translates to being straight-acting. But during those days, I think Roy was the only one who passed my standards - and RC too. It would take several more months before I would meet Papu, Kapatid na James, and the rest of the Manhood boys.

Things come so fast. The last time I attended a first-time GEB, the attendees were talking about PLU issues such as coming-out and avoiding being detected, their thoughts about guy to guy relationship, and some other small chit-chats I still cannot relate to. Now, when I attend a big gathering, I expect it to be pure hardcore - talk about boys here, boys there and yes, sex everywhere. If things would get a little deeper, then we would talk about relationships and hardships of being a gay man. I am so used to hard talking than when I met those kids last week, I was culture shocked.

I simply don't know what to say or what to chit-chat to those boys.

Good thing, my attendance there was a mere support to their rising group. Honestly, I would like to see them becoming like us someday. Of course, our foundations were deep - too deep that you would be humbled sometimes when you think about the things you have experienced and enjoyed together as a group.

But who knows, they can do the same - someday.

Like what I've said time and again, I sincerely wish that my brotherhood with the ODDERs would be for a lifetime. I would never become the homosexual that I am now, if not for them, who have been my company ever since the early days of my homosexuality.

Bunny Interludes Three

11th Week

Attending the work-out three times a week is like a protracted war. You would never know who's side is winning; how much fat you lost and how many muscles you gained in a span of time. It's like a long term battle aimed at exhausting both sides of the conflict - it's either you surrender the struggle, or your fats finally withdraw from your lousy body. In any case, it is something I have to face in this work-out. Nobody knows - except my own skin, how much I lost or won since I started the gym almost a month ago.

It turns out, that the weakest part of my body is my arms. There were times I cannot even lift a 20 - pound dumbell. It really is embarassing to see such desperation especially when the buff and gym toned guys are around. Fortunately, my aim is to loose wait. At least I am not pressured to eat pounds of steel whenever I work out.

Still, my main concern is my diet. After all these weeks, I still haven't figured out what diet regimen to adapt. I heard some lean guys talking this afternoon. They were boasting to each other how little rice or carbs did they consume just to loose those flabs. Honestly, I cannot match their discipline. Rice and meat remains my staple. Eating Wheat Bread is not enough, while my tummy still adapts as it tries to consume fish and vegetable instead.

So far, if there is any area I am absolutely winning, it is in the field of manouvers. Imagine last January, I cannot even get out of the trike which I have to ride going to the office. Now, I would just merely extend my feet and my entire body, including my butt would follow. Lately, I have also noticed that all my moves are gradually becoming effortless. I even tried dancing in front of the mirror this afternoon and to my surprise, I could bust some moves I'm dying to show - at Government, or Bed real soon.

I have achieved my flying gerl status. Now, my focus is to eradicate my flabs on my tummy once and for all.

From my observation, it takes me at least a week to loose a pound - that is, if ever I force myself to eat my nails instead of rice. If I could endure this lifestyle for at least 10 months, probably I could finally declare myself out of the "overweight" status. Ten months is a very very long time. In these times when my objective and motivation is in question, I think the only thing that holds me together are those guys I drool at G4M everyday, and my dear routine - which I am trying so hard to follow just to ensure that I may not loose my focus.

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When I started doing sit-ups, the cramps kept on forcing me to rest for at least 5 minutes before doing another set again.

Today, I have done 40 reps in just one set, and I never felt any cramps at all.

However, being a "suki" of cramps ever gym session, I forced my calves to take heavier resistance while doing an exercise.

The outcome: I only did around 5 reps, then cramps struck me hard at my left calf. It even forced me to lessen the resistance just to endure the pain.

And because the cramps lingered on until the session was finished.

I had to walk home... just to ensure that I won't have a cramp attack while inside a public transpo.

What a life.